Broken Heart

To all those people whom I have hurt, I am deeply... sorry. So many things have changed right now and the world seemed to turn against me. I am sorry if I turned out to be bad to you. I feel so sick. Maybe this would somehow lessen the heavy feelings I have inside. This may seem silly or embarrassing, but I am really really sorry. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone. It's only that I am not able to make good decisions. Sorry if you have expected so much from me but in the end I wasn't able to give it back. I never want to become a bad person. I just want to be happy. But maybe life doesn't really have to be all about happiness and victories. Sometimes, I have to fall, bang my head on the wall, or wake up from the best dreams I have had and face my nightmares. Sometimes I have to realize the real point of why I am here in this big world. Though every moment, I really feel so hurt, but I got to experience such to be strong, strong enough for the future struggles I am to face. This may be just a training for me. I must learn. Sorry if I get to be stone hearted, hard headed, or stubborn. Sorry if I was disrespectful. Sorry if I gave you stressful moments. Sorry for making you upset. Sorry for all our misunderstandings. YOu may be one person I have hurt so badly, that's why I'm really sorry.
I hope that someday, you'd be able to feel what I am saying here. To all those people who have shown love yet I have hurt, a million times... SORRY. I don't know if I could ever explain things for you to understand.

Thank you.
;{

i feel a different feeling

do you know what it feels like when you'd want to go back to a particular moment in your life and could've done things right? I'm feeling that right now. i'm not sure of the decisions i make... but there really are moments that i could've taken such chances... chances that whether taken or not would still change a part of you. i wish it would come back. though i won't be able to come back to my past, i wish it will in the future. still, I am hoping that the right star would come for me, where i'd feel what i've been wanting to feel ever since i started wishing for it. yes, this paragraph is really confusing because as i have always been, i always get confused. ;(

haaay... happy birthday mama dearest. ;)